L o n e l i n e s s
~ A poem written and illustrated by my friend Kepi ~


For some
the solitude of this long stretching path
bereft of human contact
brings peace.
I see them here,
from time to time,
riding their bike leisurely
as they let the warm rays
bath their sweating bodies. 

choose to walk and embrace the simplicity
of nature. 

The straight lines of the path
keeps their bodies on course
allowing their minds to roam freely
unbridled by cumbersome activities
such as care and worry,
as they are content to simply exist
as they travel this crushed gravel pathway.

                               For me
                          this path
                  brings nothing
              of those feelings.
           Not today.
    Itís a long scream
           of desperation          
   a far reaching cry of pain          
  that pierces the very heart of me.                 
     This path is a mirror of my life;                      
    a straight course that, once taken,                        
   cannot be undone.                          

There arenít any intersections,
U-turns, or detours
to avoid the inevitable end. 

And each stroke from my peddle
is a labored battle
exploding in my body. 

Though the sun shines
and birds sing
and flowers bloom

it is not for me. 

They are but a reminder, a shadow
of a life that once existed
but whose spirit dwindles like a star
slowly fading as day approaches. 

I remember reading that life
is a progression of peaks and valleys. 
One cannot dwell forever in the valleys
and once you rise up the mountain
 and stand at the peak
only then will you appreciate

the true beauty and majesty.

                           This simple message had been strength for me
knowing that all pain cannot last.              
For a life without hope is a life lost.                                          
          Yet now my hope fails
      and I see only the doom
    of this path before me
  making my loneliness
for I feel     
that there is nothing
more left in life   
that can    
increase my wounds. 

And so

as I ride my bike
down this physical path
covered in beauty and peace

my spirit is far away. 

Its path is born of pain
bereft of hope
lost from love
and covered in perpetual emptiness. 

I fear
my spirit
and my body
will never walk together in this life again.




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