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Chapter 27

 Come Again

I had a vision today. I saw Jesus walking the Earth.
          It was a sight marvellous and awesome beyond all and everything. In His very presence He defied logic, because He was so huge He appeared to be able to walk across all of the earth in like seven steps and yet He wasn't that tall, He seemed more like an ordinary man times three or so in height. Or maybe He wasn't that tall either, maybe He just gave that impression because of His immense presence? I don't know but He had a hugeness about Him elusive to description. He radiated and glowed with a love vast and all-reaching, a luminous splendour I can't even begin to narrate. As He walked by all the people around, near and far, fell down on their knees, crying floods of tears and reaching out their hands towards Him in ecstasy. I noticed though the majority didn't kneel before Him out of worship, no, most of them fell down in sheer physical overwhelm – they simply hadn't the strength to stand up in His extremely powerful presence. But regardless of why they kneeled they all cried ecstatically and reached out for Him in the greatest yearning.
          The thing about Him capturing me the most was His face. I had seen it before. It was something so extremely familiar to it I just knew instantly I had came across it before, and yet, the same moment I tried to get hold of my flickering remembrance to figure out from where I recalled it, I lost focus and it slipped my mind. It was as had my very efforts to place it blurred the distinct characteristics and features I fixed my eyes upon, and all that remained clear and absorbing was His smile. He smiled all the while as He looked about Him, an esoteric and slightly bemused smile I reckoned came from the Well of Wisdom Itself. Everything about Him shone a prolific, intensely penetrating love, and yet it was the mildest, most gentle and solace love ever. And in spite of all of my concerns and my troublesome doubtfulness I just knew, instantly knew from the bottom of my heart, this was He whom I've been waiting for all of my life, long before I even knew I was waiting for anyone.
          Beside me I had some of my friends who had always met my belief in Jesus with scorn, ridicule and/or disbelief. I looked at them now as they, like everyone else, fell down on their knees with tears rushing down their faces, stretching their arms toward Jesus, and I thought: "Now you can see Him for yourselves, you never believed in me when I told you, you made fun of me and deliberately turned my words against me, but see and behold – I was right all along!" As vindictive as this sounds I didn't mean it like that, quite the opposite actually. When I realized this, realized the in-vindictiveness in words so apparently vengeful – and perhaps also, in the beginning of the sentence, actually meant to come out with a vengeance?, I can't remember – but none-the-less, in the end they sprang forth as a simple yet fierce statement of truth. When this came clear to me I saw that the friends I had beside me weren't really them in themselves. They literally changed form before my naked eyes, turning into their real nature, showing their true colors.
          Kneeling beside me was not my friends, but my own innermost demons, who had previously taken shape as my friends in such a cunning manner I had no way of telling the difference. But now ... it was as had my vision been cleansed and I could really see them, gaze straight into the core of what they really were. And when I did they melted and dissolved before me. It was as had their molecular structure been held together and thus dependent upon them disguising their true nature like this. And now, in the glorious presence of Jesus Christ Himself, pouring His Wonder Light into the world and into my mind, they could no longer sustain.
          Then I turned my eyes upon Jesus again, and again I saw this huge familiarity within His blazing face. All about Him filled my heart and soul with such boon and rapturous love tears flooded down my face in the purest of joy, and at the same time this love was so peaceful and calm I felt an ease inside of me I'd never thought possible. The only thing slightly disturbing me still was that no matter how I tried I just couldn't grab hold of from where I remembered His face.
          When I came back from my vision I remembered I had seen vague glimpses of this face before, in two or three previous short visions. By the time I hadn't really struggled to get a hold of it, even though its striking familiarity had been most apparent already then. I believe the reason for the ease with which I let it go at the time was simply because the face had been so dim and out of mind I knew it was out of reach. But this time around I was so close to Him, saw Him so clear, was so on the verge of recognizing from where I remembered Him. The one thing about His features I'd seen distinct and manifest on all occasions was His smile. And again it was His smile that were the closest, most conspicuous to me. I knew of course already from the first time I saw it it was the face of Jesus, but where I had seen Him before – from where the enormous familiarity sprung – I couldn't grasp it, and I still can't. 

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That night something funny happened. I suddenly just woke up in the dark middle from the words: "To bring just into the unjust" ringing in my head. They called out over and over again, loader and loader, as did they want me to awake. And I did. I hadn't the slightest recollection of what I had dreamt that lead forth to these words resounding in my head like this, and I felt it didn't matter either. My sensation was that what did mattered was these words being heard. And I heard them, load and clear. To be on the safe side I also wrote them down on a piece of paper lying on my beside table and then fell back asleep, a serene, gracefully dreamless sleep. When I awoke it was to a clear, soft dawn. Tender rays of sunshine peeked into my bedroom like were they communing a gentle and bright morning greeting to me. They were the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes, and they made me smile. 9.31 am.

ΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫ

The disciples said to Jesus,
"tell us how our end will be."
Jesus said,
"have you discovered, then, the beginning,
that you look for the end?
For where the beginning is, the end will be.
Blessed is who will stand in the beginning;
he will know the end
and will not taste death."

                                      (Gospel of Thomas)

ΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫΫ